I am spending a long time on the stairs, not going up or down but trying to make an angry little man stay on one step. Looking at pictures of him from years past it is scary just how much he has come along from the lump of DNA to a strong-minded 4 year old.
It is in those moments where you are dealing with a screaming child that you realise every moment is just hurtling by. It does not seem all that long ago that we were fighting the same battle with the Feliciraptor.
Being a parent is a constant battle against time, first you want things to hurry along and then you wish they would pass a little slower because your whole life is changing. I wish I had temporal powers to alter the passing of parenthood to realise that the best times are always the ones we are in right now.
- You spend all afternoon wishing that bedtime would arrive and the rest of the evening thinking how amazing it would be to spend more time with them.
- The fifteen minutes you get to play in the bath feels like 15 seconds compared to the fifteen minutes it takes to get them ready for bed.
- Nothing feels as long as a drive in a car with a child screaming because you didn’t go the route they wanted (when a toddler GPS is rerouting it goes AAAARRRGGGGHHH).
- Cuddles never seem to last as long as you want them, tantrums on the other hand…
- The kids’ TV shows you like last for all the theme tune and two lines of dialogue. The ones you hate are longer than Titanic. You know who you are Peppa.
- A nice clean floor lasts for seconds, the stains on the wall/furniture/clothes last a lifetime.
- The longer a meal takes to prepare and cook the less time it will take for them to declare it is one of their least favourite dishes ever made and you are a terrible parent and human being for daring to produce this abomination of a dish.
- An Ince cream in a child’s hand melts twice as fast as an adults and lasts twice as long, producing at least 4 times as much mess.
- You can spend hours watching them sleep.
- The first night they sleep through will be the longest night you have ever experienced.
- When a child is running into danger time slows down for you, but they seem to become the fastest thing moving on Earth
- We spend way too much time wishing for the next thing in their lives.
- You will never have enough time with your child.